I don't want to lose you

Hello everyone, I hope you all are having a wonderful day! I am sharing with you all another original poem that I wrote a while ago. This poem is about trying to forget someone who you have loved, but still holding onto the memories that you have made with them. I hope you all enjoy reading it!

I don’t want to lose you

I’m jealous.

I can’t believe I’m saying that.

I can’t believe I’m still thinking about you.

Contemplating whether or not to text you.

It’s stupid, I know.

I say I’m over you, but I feel I’m not.

I actually miss you.

A lot and it’s getting worse.

I miss you as a person, picking on me, and you being you.

I don’t miss your snarky comments or the way you insulted me.

But I can’t live like this.

I have to try and move on,

But I don’t know anymore.

I try to challenge myself and find someone new,

But my mind always wanders back to you.

I can’t help it.

I never even told you how I feel.

I contemplate whether or not I should take a chance on you.

Or should I just get over you.

It’s hard, especially when I see you talking with another girl.

I know you never saw me in that way.

I saw you in two ways, the love and the friend.

Something so stupid that has messed up my brain.

I’m lonely, I know I don’t need you.

But I’m having trouble getting over you.

I have dedicated playlists and poems to you to moan my broken heart.

I just wanted you.

But I can’t have you, you are doing other things without me.

I don’t need somebody, my mind thinks I need you, but really, I just need myself.

I was blind to what you really wanted, you text everyone but me.

I guess we weren’t close like that.

I’m sorry to you and mainly myself.

I’m sorry to myself because I’m crying writing this.

I’m sorry to my heart who has to heal itself.

I’m sorry to you because I never explained how I felt.

I’m sorry to you because I wasn’t close to you and I’m sorry for thinking that.

I’m hurt. I’m confused. I’m regretful. I’m sad to see you grow without me.

I can’t be close to you because I melt like butter.

Now I have to make a decision to let you know how I feel or just forget about you.

I fell too damn hard and now I’m having trouble healing on my own.

I know I’m better off without you, but heart just can’t except it.

I’m crying over some stupid situation that will be funny to look back on later.

I feel weak.

I really do miss you.

It hurts when you’re not here, but I’m stronger than this.

I know I’ll see you again, but I won’t show my true emotions with you because I’m holding back pain and love.

I don’t miss you, I just miss your presence.

I don’t feel weak, I’m just weak for you.

I don’t cry for you, I just out loud sometimes.

I don’t admit to myself I need you, I just need someone.

I don’t think about you when I’m lonely, I just think about our possible future.

I have to move on from you because I don’t want to live like this.

I have to love someone else because I can’t love you.

I have to be okay because you are more than okay.

I have to see you with other girls because I am not those girls.

I have to be your friend because that’s all I was good for.

I have once fallen in love with the idea of you,

But I can’t love you like I love myself.

I have accepted my fate and it’s not you.

Maybe it’s you if I just take a chance.

I can’t risk a friendship like that. I can’t risk myself getting hurt emotionally.

I fall in too deep because I’m always being used, and I don’t know what it’s like to feel wanted.

You either take me in or leave me here to fend for myself.

And you left me here to fend for myself,

I’m used to it. It barely hurts anymore, the only thing that hurts is

The thought of you.

I don’t hate you.

I couldn’t

I just hate the thought of you.

I want to get over you,

But I’m trying to heal without you and it’s hard.

I’m only jealous of her because she got everything I wanted,

But she threw it away like it was nothing.

If you’re ready for a relationship,

Then so be it.

I can only text you and hope you still aren’t stupid.

Thank you all very much for reading this post, I really appreciate it! This is probably one of more honest and emotional poems that I have shared and so I really do appreciate the love and support I receive from them. I have many posts planned for this month and I cannot wait to share them with you all! If you want to stay updated with new posts and see more interactive content, you can follow me on Instagram and Pinterest @helpfulinspiringblog. If you need to contact me, please email me at: helpfulinspiringblog@gmail.com. I will see you all in the next post!

-Sonia